{"id":1985,"date":"2023-10-19T08:33:41","date_gmt":"2023-10-19T08:33:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/finance\/im-tired-of-feeling-like-i-am-in-hell-my-boss-tears-into-me-almost-daily-he-says-im-stupid-and-worthless-what-can-i-do\/"},"modified":"2023-10-19T08:33:42","modified_gmt":"2023-10-19T08:33:42","slug":"im-tired-of-feeling-like-i-am-in-hell-my-boss-tears-into-me-almost-daily-he-says-im-stupid-and-worthless-what-can-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit:<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>I came back to the office for the first time in a week after being sick. I take care of a couple emails, and then my boss emails me and says he wants to have a meeting. We get into this meeting and he begins tearing into me about me not being able to do the simplest of tasks, even though I\u2019ve been busting my chops doing all of my reports and any extra tasks he\u2019s thrown at me.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>He told me I can no longer work from home because I need to be able to \u201clearn more from the office environment\u201d and that I need to speed up the process of finding a new job because I\u2019m one write-up away from being fired. It seems like every day I\u2019m being dragged into these meetings and being told I\u2019m stupid, I\u2019m worthless, and that my future is in jeopardy. I feel defeated and I honestly don\u2019t know what more to do.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m depressed when I\u2019m here, and I\u2019m constantly stressed because I am always being watched. I\u2019m tired of being a punching bag. I have an interview today, and I really hope that I get this position because I am tired of feeling like I am in hell.<\/p>\n<p>Tired &amp; Anonymous<\/p>\n<p><strong>Related:<\/strong> \u2018Gaslighters have two signature moves\u2019: Are you being gaslighted at work? Here\u2019s how to recognize the signs.<\/p>\n<div data-layout=\"inline\n                \" data-layout-mobile=\"\" class=\"\n          media-object\n          type-InsetMediaIllustration\n            inline\n  article__inset\n          article__inset--type-InsetMediaIllustration\n            article__inset--inline\n  \"><\/p>\n<p>          <!-- eventually when we know what this card will be we can change it and leave this one --><\/p>\n<figure class=\"\n        media-object-image\n        enlarge-image\n        img-inline\n        article__inset__image\n      \" itemscope=\"\" itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\"><\/p>\n<\/figure><\/div>\n<h2><strong>Dear Tired &amp; Anonymous,<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Your experience is reminiscent of the movie \u201cHorrible Bosses.\u201d Employees are potential future leaders. No one has the right to jeopardize that.<\/p>\n<p>HR departments are there to create a collegial, non-toxic work culture, and foster an environment of inclusivity and \u2014 importantly \u2014 psychological safety, in addition to their usual tasks of screening, recruiting and training new employees. They are also there to protect the company from litigation and ensure the employees abide by the law. HR professionals, whose jobs have actually been in decline despite a strong labor market, protect the company from legal jeopardy, but as part of that responsibility they also act to protect the employees. This is not Madison Avenue in the 1960s, when liquid lunches were common and sexism and bullying pervaded the office floor.<\/p>\n<p>But first, a caveat. Your employer has every right to insist that you do not work from home, unless your contract specifies remote work as a condition of employment, or if remote work was part of a labor union\u2019s collective-bargaining agreement, or you were provided a reasonable accommodation to participate in hybrid or remote work due to a disability. Alternatively, if your employer insisted that you take a pay cut to work from home, you could argue you had \u201cjustifiable reliance\u201d on that new arrangement. In that case, you would have to show that you took a financial hit to work from home.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>While bullying an employee may earn you a reprimand from management, it is not necessarily illegal. But that does not mean that offices and factory floors should not be a place you feel safe from harassment. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission enforces laws that prohibit workplace harassment because of race; color; national origin; sex, including pregnancy, gender identity and sexual orientation; religion; disability; age (40 or older); or genetic information. Federal law also protects you against retaliation for complaining about such behavior.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>A pattern of abusive or harassing behavior\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Individual incidents are also not always enough. In New York, employment law uses the \u201creasonable person\u201d barometer to decide whether misconduct rises to the level of illegal harassment. \u201cAn imagined \u2018reasonable person,\u2019 not just the victim, must be able to consider the work environment intimidating, hostile, or abusive because of the misbehavior,\u201d says Ottinger Employment Lawyers. For example, an insurance-company worker won $750,000 in an age-discrimination lawsuit in California after enduring comments related to her age: \u201cFuddy duddy\u201d was deemed ageist.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTo determine if misconduct is \u2018sufficiently severe or pervasive\u2019 to warrant a hostile environment, a court will look at the totality of the circumstances,\u201d the law firm adds. \u201cSome relevant factors will be: the frequency of the misconduct; how harsh or distressing the offensive behavior was; whether the actions were physically threatening or humiliating compared to an offensive utterance; whether the misconduct unreasonably interfered with an employee\u2019s work performance; and the effect of the environment on the employee\u2019s psychological well-being.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Name-calling, and being repeatedly targeted may not rise to the level of illegal harassment, but you can and should take contemporaneous notes and bring the behavior to the attention of your superiors and\/or HR department. There have, however, been extreme cases where an employee who was bullied was awarded compensation: In 2018, the Indiana Supreme Court reinstated a $325,000 verdict for a former medical technician who sued a colleague, a cardiovascular surgeon, for alleged assault more than a decade earlier. In a 2002 incident, the surgeon allegedly approached the technician, yelling and brandishing clenched fists.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Unhappy employees hurt productivity<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Having a bad boss is like being in a bad marriage. You rely on both a boss and spouse for your emotional and financial health because one is tied to the other. With your boss, your finances are dependent on their approval. With you spouse, your emotional health is the rock on which the relationship is based. Like your spouse, your boss\u2019s opinions carry extra weight. If your co-worker says, \u201cNice job,\u201d that\u2019s good to hear, but what if your boss says it? You may be on a high all day long. <\/p>\n<p>In fact, a study released earlier this year by the Workforce Institute at UKG, which provides research and education on workplace issues, found that 69% of workers said their manager impacted their mental health. Here\u2019s what\u2019s curious: The same percentage of workers said their spouses affected their mental health. That makes sense if you think about it: You probably spend as much time with your boss (and co-workers) during the week as you do with your spouse.<\/p>\n<p>Unhappy employees also hurt productivity. The UKG social scientists interviewed 2,200 employees from 10 countries, in addition to 600 C-suite leaders and 600 HR executives in the U.S. \u201cWe talk a lot about mental health in terms of a medical diagnosis or burnout. While those are serious issues, the day-to-day stressors we live with \u2014 especially those caused by work \u2014 is what we should talk more about as leaders,\u201d Pat Wadors, the chief people officer at UKG, a multinational technology company, said when the report was released in January.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Being an employee is tough, and so is being a boss. Both involve a degree of emotional labor. Indeed, when managers are more open about their own mental-health journey, it can help create a more inclusive and supportive environment. \u201cLife isn\u2019t all milk and honey, and when leaders open up about their own struggles, they acknowledge they are not alone, and that it\u2019s OK not to be OK,\u201d Wadors added. \u201cAuthentic, vulnerable leadership is the key to creating belonging at work and, in turn, the key to solving the mental-health crisis in the workplace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Your job is important, but so is your happiness and mental health. Seek advice from management and HR, keep applying for jobs, and update your r\u00e9sum\u00e9.  <\/p>\n<p><strong>Related:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Want to avoid a toxic workplace? Ask these 5 questions in your job interview.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Gaslighters have two signature moves\u2019: Are you being gaslighted at work? Here\u2019s how to recognize the signs.<\/p>\n<p>Warning: Jobs advertised as \u2018remote\u2019 don\u2019t always stay that way<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as <\/em><\/strong><a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Quantanamo?mod=article_inline&amp;mod=article_inline&amp;mod=article_inline&amp;mod=article_inline&amp;mod=article_inline\" class=\"icon none\"><strong><em>Twitter.<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Check out <\/em><\/strong><strong><em>the Moneyist private Facebook<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>group, where we look for answers to life\u2019s thorniest money issues. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2018Buy a yacht,\u2019 he told me. My fianc\u00e9, 67, is cutting his kids out of his will \u2014 and leaving everything to me. Should I be suspicious?<\/p>\n<p>My uncle persuaded my ailing grandmother to cut everyone else out of the family trust. Do we have a case against him?<\/p>\n<p>My 8-year-old son was given $35,000 in gold bars. Do we hold onto them \u2014 or sell and invest the money?<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><br \/>\n<br \/>Read the full article <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marketwatch.com\/story\/tired-of-feeling-like-i-am-in-hell-my-boss-tears-into-me-almost-daily-he-says-im-worthless-what-can-i-do-9d7f7310?mod=personal-finance\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after being sick. I take care of a couple emails, and then my boss emails me and says he wants to have a meeting. We get into this meeting and he begins tearing into me about me not being able to do the simplest of tasks, even though I\u2019ve been busting my chops doing all of my reports and any extra tasks he\u2019s thrown at me.\u00a0 He told me I can no<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1986,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-finance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do? | ConnectWithFund<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do? | ConnectWithFund\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"ConnectWithFund\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-10-19T08:33:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-10-19T08:33:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/1697704422_social.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1280\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"640\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985\",\"name\":\"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do? | ConnectWithFund\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-10-19T08:33:41+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-10-19T08:33:42+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#\/schema\/person\/9344cb2de07361e178f5c834d2167e52\"},\"description\":\"This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/\",\"name\":\"FinMarkPros\",\"description\":\"Latest Finance News and Updates\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#\/schema\/person\/9344cb2de07361e178f5c834d2167e52\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3740b286006c76c86a45c4879850da000667bb6f5bbe053edd4a416d2cc4fb80?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3740b286006c76c86a45c4879850da000667bb6f5bbe053edd4a416d2cc4fb80?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do? | ConnectWithFund","description":"This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do? | ConnectWithFund","og_description":"This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after","og_url":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985","og_site_name":"ConnectWithFund","article_published_time":"2023-10-19T08:33:41+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-10-19T08:33:42+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1280,"height":640,"url":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/1697704422_social.jpeg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985","url":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985","name":"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do? | ConnectWithFund","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2023-10-19T08:33:41+00:00","dateModified":"2023-10-19T08:33:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#\/schema\/person\/9344cb2de07361e178f5c834d2167e52"},"description":"This account, posted under a username that has since been deleted, first appeared on Reddit: I came back to the office for the first time in a week after","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?p=1985#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"\u2018I\u2019m tired of feeling like I am in hell\u2019: My boss tears into me almost daily. He says I\u2019m stupid and worthless. What can I do?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/","name":"FinMarkPros","description":"Latest Finance News and Updates","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#\/schema\/person\/9344cb2de07361e178f5c834d2167e52","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3740b286006c76c86a45c4879850da000667bb6f5bbe053edd4a416d2cc4fb80?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3740b286006c76c86a45c4879850da000667bb6f5bbe053edd4a416d2cc4fb80?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/connectwithfund.com"],"url":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1985"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1987,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985\/revisions\/1987"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1986"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connectwithfund.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}